Who wears a wallet chain?!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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