the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
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So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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