Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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