i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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