I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm both gender and math confused
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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