At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
