xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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