So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..