i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
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It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked