Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.