sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho