one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO