You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
