Already got asked if we're dating
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize