I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
