Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
