you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize