There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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