my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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