.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
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My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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