I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
