I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
