i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.