Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?

(504): View more from Louisiana

Aren't all three of those the same though?

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(917): There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it? (504): Aren't all three of those the same though? http://tfl.nu/bg7f

Replies (2) Good night (1284) Bad night (593)
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(810): View more from Michigan

I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...

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(810): I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work... http://tfl.nu/jjaa

Replies (30) Good night (6264) Bad night (1102)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

i should start naming my morning wood

(201): View more from New Jersey

great idea but wrong number

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(910): i should start naming my morning wood (201): great idea but wrong number http://tfl.nu/1p5a

Replies (24) Good night (8440) Bad night (1222)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

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(307): If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter... http://tfl.nu/rvqi

Replies (24) Good night (5638) Bad night (877)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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(832): You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry http://tfl.nu/vuqf

Replies (21) Good night (2024) Bad night (4780)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other

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(506): All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other http://tfl.nu/mktv

Replies (13) Good night (5402) Bad night (993)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.

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(770): Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers. http://tfl.nu/y8q2

Replies (9) Good night (2176) Bad night (1637)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?

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(217): Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people? http://tfl.nu/sask

Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (1888)
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(928): View more from Arizona

Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both

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(928): Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both http://tfl.nu/0ibg

Replies (2) Good night (1467) Bad night (705)
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(207): View more from Maine

Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...

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(207): Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other... http://tfl.nu/529q

Replies (6) Good night (2455) Bad night (645)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.

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(205): Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line. http://tfl.nu/zcb1

Replies (9) Good night (1001) Bad night (635)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.

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(412): I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/c3ar

Replies (6) Good night (457) Bad night (813)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later

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(414): Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later http://tfl.nu/j0j8

Replies (3) Good night (581) Bad night (562)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.

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(978): THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT. http://tfl.nu/7was

Replies (5) Good night (405) Bad night (473)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one

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(336): I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one http://tfl.nu/2mql

Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (220)

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