Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Why did I cab home last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.

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  (310): Why did I cab home last night? (1-310): Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker. http://tfl.nu/2rna
  Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.

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  (512): I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related. http://tfl.nu/b1mq
  Replies (30) Good night (3511) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.

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  (925): You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar. http://tfl.nu/e1r5
  Replies (7) Good night (470) Bad night (2010) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.

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  (918): I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/mqw4
  Replies (12) Good night (3688) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance

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  (336): i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance http://tfl.nu/wpko
  Replies (10) Good night (6175) Bad night (1168) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.

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  (318): I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/98cc
  Replies (9) Good night (6108) Bad night (1293) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.

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  (506): He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants. http://tfl.nu/uu5r
  Replies (16) Good night (4928) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow

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  (404): Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow http://tfl.nu/pzca
  Replies (5) Good night (2725) Bad night (1155) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.

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  (512): You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication. http://tfl.nu/dq9l
  Replies (6) Good night (2986) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.

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  (316): How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/n6dt
  Replies (15) Good night (2480) Bad night (1651) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.

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  (505): I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster. http://tfl.nu/elih
  Replies (1) Good night (2034) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.

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  (734): I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/i9iy
  Replies (3) Good night (1298) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?

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  (801): Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way? http://tfl.nu/h6qu
  Replies (4) Good night (896) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..

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  (401): He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together.. http://tfl.nu/x2kk
  Replies (3) Good night (1329) Bad night (366)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.

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  (702): Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos. http://tfl.nu/ooli
  Replies (5) Good night (195) Bad night (464) Order T-Shirt

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