Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.

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(248): the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick. http://tfl.nu/f71t

Replies (2) Good night (831) Bad night (1081)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes

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(708): Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes http://tfl.nu/wqgi

Replies (10) Good night (4433) Bad night (1048)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

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(778): Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird? http://tfl.nu/7neo

Replies (26) Good night (4222) Bad night (1024)
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(805): View more from California

you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.

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(805): you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out. http://tfl.nu/ndw1

Replies (50) Good night (1729) Bad night (18721)
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(812): View more from Indiana

You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party

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(812): You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party http://tfl.nu/gmt6

Replies (10) Good night (6076) Bad night (1513)
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(917): View more from New York City

They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"

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(917): They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?" http://tfl.nu/nrwr

Replies (5) Good night (3508) Bad night (1605)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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(313): I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many. http://tfl.nu/e16i

Replies (6) Good night (2374) Bad night (1427)
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(276): View more from Virginia

Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.

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(276): Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco. http://tfl.nu/65bb

Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (1640)
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(702): View more from Nevada

One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell

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(702): One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell http://tfl.nu/48fd

Replies (8) Good night (915) Bad night (550)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out

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(505): Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out http://tfl.nu/4j6r

Replies (12) Good night (614) Bad night (1158)
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(434): View more from Virginia

You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.

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(434): You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown. http://tfl.nu/essa

Replies (3) Good night (1270) Bad night (1009)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.

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(678): Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool. http://tfl.nu/6mtz

Replies (10) Good night (1678) Bad night (648)
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(831): View more from California

sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing

(408): View more from California

it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"

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(831): sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing (408): it's like you just said "i want you to suffer" http://tfl.nu/wbp5

Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (432)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update

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(215): Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update http://tfl.nu/adag

Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (299)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.

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(717): I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure. http://tfl.nu/s61r

Replies (4) Good night (684) Bad night (127)

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