Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
