Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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