dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We are two peas in an std pod
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
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My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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