Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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