Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution