Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.