Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it