she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
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Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.