Plan B is the new Plan A
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.