Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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