dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize