I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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