If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize