Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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