Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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