and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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