Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
