I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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