i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
