a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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