we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize