He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
