worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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