i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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