dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize