The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
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I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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