he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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