i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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