So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Come share oat with me in your robe
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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