I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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