I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize