I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
