fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize