just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
