I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize